State of disrepair? Or rock bottom?

I have been paralyzed by my stuff. I’ve always had an issue with stuff. When I was little I would organize all my toys & clothes & make sure they were all separate from my twin brother’s. When I got my own room I liked to have everything organized. I even created an office nook in my own bedroom, where all my school supplies were in order & my books were organized alphabetically. In my closet, shirts were organized by type, & then color, in rainbow order. I struggled with where to put white black grey and brown. Finally I decided on white grey black red orange yellow green blue purple brown.

 

As I got older, I drank to cope with my problem of stuff. In college, if I had a paper to write or a job interview, I would have to clean my whole apartment first and make sure everything was in order in my life, physically.

 

I’m going to skip a lot of stuff and get to the point, my apartment (& life) are a mess right now. My car is a mess. My car needs cleaning & maintenance. All my stuff is disorganized, I have way to much, and I think I may be a hoarder.

 

There’s a lot of snow outside, I have 4 days til Christmas with no presents for anyone, there is no daycare next week, man & I are going out of town for a wedding on new years, and we have to be out of our apartment by the 1st of January. We are moving in with man’s parents where all three of us are going to be sharing A room. So somehow I need to get my whole cluster of a life into one room, plus a storage unit. In the snow, with a two year old.

 

This is not going to be easy.

 

So I thought, well I’ll make it fun by blogging about my journey through my stuff, & take pictures along the way. I started outside taking pictures of my car, then inside I started taking pictures of my mess and clutter when my camera said “memory full",” so I tried to delete pictures and realized there were only 11 on there. The memory card was taken out and never put back in. Typical. I try to take pictures of how disorganized I am and am actually too disorganized to even do that. But! I could just put 11 at a time onto my computer if I use the usb cord! Eureka! But where is the usb cord? No freaking clue. Typical.

 

Well, here we go without pictures..

Cheapo

I want to buy a house. I want my own house that I can put all my things where I want them and make everything just the way I want it. And I want this house now. I don’t want it to be a far-off dream, a long-term goal, or something I do once I “get a real job” and a 401k and yadda yadda. I want to make it happen.

 

And I realized the only way to do that on my salary is to change my life. completely. extremely.

 

I have already cut down a lot on going out to eat and getting take out food. & I have somewhat started to wear clothes I already own instead of buying new ones. And I have talked myself out of several purchases lately.

 

But I’m talking more than this. I’m talking extreme. For example, the cookie swap that I didn’t want to do- set me back at least 14 dollars- that was the price of the cookies & the wrapping. But that doesn’t count the gas to get there, the frustration, setting me behind and up for failure the next day when I am all disheveled in the morning and decide to just go to dunkin donuts instead of having breakfast at home. & it also doesn’t count that while I was out I went into job lot and spent  $18 on things I don’t need..

 

While I’m at it, why does having friends & hanging out with friends have to involve spending money? why do we all have to get each other presents and go out for dinner or coffee? What I would love to do with my friends is get together & MAKE dinner. & not fancy-shmancy-trying-to-impress-each-other-dinners. I’m talking spaghetti. Who doesn’t love spaghetti with friends? Or when a group of us want to get together, why not do a pot-luck? I can get good at making one cheap but delicious dish, like a green bean casserole or this awesome broccoli salad that my aunt makes.

 

KIDS- They are like a toilet for your money, & I, being wise WAY beyond my years, know that they only get pricier with age. I know this because my childhood wasn’t that long ago, and I needed a lot of stuff. So in an effort to balance out the millions i will be spending on H in a few short years, I am going to go extreme at this end. His friends at school don’t care what he’s wearing, and neither do I. If it’s comfy and warm, it’s his. There is a local church that does a kids clothing swap every other Saturday morning. It’s completely free, you can bring clothes your child has outgrown, & take whatever you need. With the rate little kids grow, its just plain stupid to keep buying them new clothes when there are so many used ones available.

 

Kid activities & toys- free.free.free. All I’m spending money on is gas. H has like a million strollers, and we have a bike seat for him, so when it’s nice out, we’re walking to the park, or going for a ride. & when it’s not nice out, we’re playing with his bazillion toys that he already owns (thank you to all you kind people who got him bday presents- of my blog readers- Jen for the legos, & amy for the mr.potato head), going to the library for kid activities or just playing in their play area, and using free passes to local museums and stuff that I can get from the library. And I’m going to pack a lunch. Every time. Because those dollars will add up.

 

I feel like I have gotten off topic. Basically the moral of the story here is that I’m getting back to basics, I’m slowing life down, taking some time to enjoy the flowers, while putting as much money as possible in the bank. To buy my house that I want sooo sooo badly I will say no to new clothes, restaurants, dunkin donuts, and a social life for as long as it takes.

 

This is going to be really really hard, and those of you that know me well, know I am not an extreme person.

 

Which is why I am implementing my extreme money-saving cheapo-ness at the new year! Giving myself 15 more days to be ridiculously irresponsible! I am trying to think of everything I want & need so I can buy it now, before house saving starts. This includes a new wax pot from sally & the sticks & strips & stuff, which will probably run me about $50, getting some dry cleaning & clothing altering done & fixing up my sneakers, Christmas presents, & most likely new tires for my car, because I am going to need them soon. And I am going to get a haircut so I can prolong the next one as long as possible

 

Anything else I can hurry up and buy before my transformation?

Cookie Swap

Cookie swap- a fun holiday tradition.. wait, scratch that, a not fun, not tradition, stressful event that is totally sketchy. Why did I agree to this?

 

I agreed last week to do a cookie swap with a bunch of other moms at daycare, which involves making 8 batches of 6 cookies each. That equals like 70 cookies when I account for all the ones I will eat before I make it to the swap meet. & then I have to wrap them in cute little bags. Sounded fun. I imagined myself & my two year old happily decorating little Santa Claus and Christmas tree shaped sugar cookies with all different colors..

And then, the day came that I actually had to do it. Which is today.

 

H woke up at 4 am. Soaking wet. I had to change his diaper, jammies & his sheets. Then he told me he wanted to go poo on the potty. I was like “ok honey you can poo in the morning…nanights.” then didn't fall back asleep until right before I had to get up again. Scrambled around all morning, brought him to daycare, raced to work where my brain basically did this for 4 hours: “?!&#**$^&??/@!!&*” Then I went to Sam Diego’s for lunch where I pretended I was competing in an eating competition and 7 hours later, I am still full. Raced back home to pick up H, went grocery shopping, forgot cookie ingredients & toilet paper, forgot that I forgot those things, played for a while, fed him dinner, got him ready for bed, read 1000 books & kissed him goodnight. Then I sat down at my computer to “study” and remembered the cookie swap. And then I started writing this blog.

 

It is no 8:30 pm, I’m exhausted and full, and need to now stay up until all hours of the night baking cookies and preparing them in cute little torturous arrangements..

 

And once again I am asking myself, why do I agree to these things? Just. Say. No.

 

 

But I have a solution: going to Stop & Shop right now, buying 50 cookies, putting them in cute little baggies, & getting a whole bunch of awesome cookies from other people tomorrow, and hopefully I will have digested my Mexican food by then.

Food I want right now

I'm having serious blog writer's block. Probably the reason no one reads it. Because there ain't nothin hea

All I can think about when I try to think of somethingto write is this:

1. Nachos. Big pile of them. Like from Bobby Byrne's with cheese salsa lettuce tomatoes olives chives sour cream & BEEF mmmmm

2. Chocolate chip cookies. I made them fresh a few weeks ago (break n bake of course) and now I want more. A la mode! Vanilla bean!

3. Clam Chowder with a ridiculous amount of hot sauce in it. And a warm roll to dip dip

4. Italian Sub. With everything on it. Drowned in oil & vinegar. As salty & greasy as they come. With extra cheeeeeese.

5. Jalapeno poppers- haven't had those in forever and they're soooooooo good.



Good thing I'm broke or I'd be obese!!!

Grumpy Tiger

How can something so cute be so mad??!

So I stop writing the same things on little pieces of paper…

I make to do lists all the time & I get a lot done, but I always have these recurring long-term projects, ideas of things I can try, or things that I just never actually get to doing, so I thought I’d write them here and reference when I need to…

 

projects to finish-

1. get all my stuff off my old laptops so i can throw them away and never have them in my life ever again

 

2. put my life’s worth of photos into albums… this one is really daunting for some reason and I keep telling myself I only have to work on it for half an hour per week and it won’t sit on my list for several more years but I’m having a hard time starting.

 

ideas i have…

create an etsy store for my jewelry creations

sell old stuff and clothes on ebay ( I even have a mannequin already to model my clothes!)

find a cool meal planning chart either online or in microsoft office so I can better plan my food each week

 

things i never get around to doing…

 

bring clothes to the tailor.. i have an awesome pair of brown cords, a gray pencil skirt, and a few other things that i will never ever wear until I get them altered. I try to tell myself I’m not allowed to buy any new clothes until I get this done and wear those items at least once but I don’t stick to my own ultimatums..

 

bring sneakers to the cleaners! I hate cleaning sneakers & saw a sign at a local dry cleaners that they do that so I keep meaning to bring my cruddy ones there & buy new shiny laces.. Sure beats dishing out $50+ on new kicks!

 

 

 

Also on a side note I really want to try hot yoga like in a 100 degree room because my friend was telling my it makes you really way more flexible being in the heat and I think I would enjoy that. But there’s nowhere in town that does it! I would have to drive like 45 minutes so we’ll see…

Cool Mom

As I was feeding my one year old ice cream for dinner, it dawned on me that this behavior could be indicitive of a "cool mom."

In a flash forward, I saw myself allowing junior and his friends to watch rated R movies at our house, since none of the other parents would allow it.

Then I saw myself in handcuffs for hosting underage drinking parties in my basement. Shit!

Guess it's time to start cooking real dinner...

weekenders

The makings of a good weekend: blueberries, cheerios, & hanging out.

Why Being A Parent Is so Damn Hard

Pregnancy sucks. You have to get ginormous, you can't drink, you're constantly being stared at, and you have to face you're impending doom: a life-changing time bomb that you have 8 short months to try to prepare for.

The first way to prepare is to get your finances together. You need to get as much money as you can possibly get your hands on, because that's just how much kids cost. Doesn't matter how much you make, you're still going to need more. You need a bigger, nicer, safer place to live. You need a TON of shit. Furniture, car seats, strollers, diapers, formula, clothes, diaper genies, baby Bjorn's, hats, blankets, swaddle blankets, swings, high chairs, bottles, breast pumps, nursing tops.... and this list does not end, ever. Once you think you have everything, you need one more thing. A boppy pillow. A thermometer. A snot sucker. You also need health insurance and money to cover medical bills. Then you need money to pay your bills for several months while you're home with a newborn. Then you need to buy life insurance to protect your family if something should happen to you. Then you need to open a college fund to start saving for squirts' education.

This is not why being a parent is hard.

Is this getting redundant? Let's say you have plenty of money and can handle all these things. You'll still need more. Because then you will be pressured into buying cord blood banking in case you're precious little one ever needs stem cells if they get sick, and man do they lay this one on you. I felt guilty for months for not spending thousands on this and I still feel a little guilty. I even contemplated freezing my son's umbilical cord in my own freezer- what the hell's the difference? Once this is paid for, you start reading the parenting magazines and decide that you're child should only wear organic cotton onesies, and needs Dreft laundry detergent, and it just never ends.

This is not why being a parent is hard.

Ok, so the kid shows up and rips you a new one. Then you're dealing with a helpless, crying, screaming newborn who won't sleep more than 90 minutes at a time when you are the most exhausted you have ever been in your entire life. For me, the hospital stay was the first time I had ever been in a hospital, the first time I ever had an IV, and obviously the first time I ever had an epidural. The whole weekend I probably got ten hours of sleep. Then I was sent off on my own to raise this kid until he's thirty, when I still needed raising myself. I was on painkillers, wearing pads, taking sitz baths, changing diapers, doing laundry, and breastfeeding a baby who was hungry every two hours and took 45 minutes to feed-- all while living my life in a zombie-like catatonic state that was only broken during the hour I spent crying every day.

This is not why being a parent is so hard. It was hard, but mostly because I was tired. And I knew it would pass. I knew things would get easier. I switched him to formula, he started sleeping longer, he started pooping less, my body healed, and I got some help with the laundry...

As they get a little older, they get easier, but they also get harder. Once they can grasp things, there are choking hazards. Once they can crawl, there are falling hazards. One they can walk and climb, EVERYTHING is a hazard. You can never let your guard down. As a parent, you have to be alert and ready. It doesn't matter how tired you are, you have to be paying attention and you have to be ready to jump up and save you're kid from getting a boo-boo, or save your cell phone from being flushed down the toilet. Once you go back to work, it is a tight-rope walk trying to balance your lives. Daycare, doctors appointments, work, bills, friends (where did they go?).. Every day is a challenge and no matter how hard you try to work out a schedule, you'll never stick to it, because there will always be something unexpected.

But this is just part of life, everyone gets busy, whether they have kids or not. Everyone has to balance personal obligations with work, so this is not why being a parent is so hard.

Being a parent is do damn hard because you need to make decisions quickly, and sometimes blindly, that will affect someone else for the rest of their life. It never occurred to me how easy it is to make decisions about my own life until I had to make decisions for someone else. I have had to make all of my son's medical decisions, and he has absolutely no say in them. He can't speak, and even if he could, he wouldn't know what to do. It was my decision to get him vaccinated, but I question it all the time. I am torturing my child by injecting viruses into him so he can form an antibody to diseases that he would probably never get anyway. Getting these vaccines just MIGHT cause autism and change his personality and cause him to struggle for the rest of his life. They also just might cause a stroke. And he will most definitely get a fever and feel crummy for a day or two. But I did it anyways- I trusted the medical professionals who recommend it. I figured they must be right that the benefits outweigh the risks. I trusted them because I didn't know what else to do- I didn't have the time or money to go to medical school and study the effects of the vaccine and decide for myself it it was worth it.

For me, this responsibility and vulnerability is the hardest part of being a parent. Being responsible for someone else is easy when it comes to feeding and bathing them, but hard when you look at the big picture and realize that a decision you make today is going to still affect them long after you're gone. Should I continue his vaccines? Should I move to a better town? Should I work longer hours to make more money or should I work less hours to make more time? Which is more important? Should I involve certain people in his life? There are no way to answer these questions, and there is even less time. You just have to do it and hope that you do it right.

The World of Breasts

It seems as if breast implants have been making a lot of headlines lately. The latest one is by far the most disturbing. This girl in Texas raised money to get breast augmentation surgery by PRETENDING TO HAVE CANCER. She told everyone she had breast cancer, and even shaved her head to make it look like she was losing her hair from chemotherapy treatments. The nice folks down in Texas raised funds to help her out, and what does she do? She gets herself boobies. And is alive. And healthy. I feel bad for her kids. She better move far away, dye her hair, and change her name because she has pissed a lot of people off. That is, after her jail time.

Usually I would go into a rant here. But this is so bad that my ranting won't even be necessary.

Another sickening story- This lady in Whales caught her husband chatting with and trying to meet up with young girls online by pretending to be a schoolgirl. She suspected he was doing so, so she set up in the other room and chatted with him on the computer, and then he tried to get her to meet somewhere for sex. Instead of confronting him, she called police, and he was arrested! You go girl! I love that. She did the right thing. I would probably be so angry if my husband did that, I wouldn't be able to control myself and would probably run into the other room with a frying pan like a crazy lady. And, of course, kick him in the nuts. A lot. Then I would get arrested.

I think calling the police was a great move on her part, and although he somehow did not get jail time, it makes his punishment that much worse. Public shame is a bitch, David Roberts!

Day of the Dead

To my loyal readers, I would like to apologize for making my posts so long. I'm assuming that's why none of you are reading them. ha...

Some guy in Brazil showed up to his own funeral! His family had identified what they thought was his body from a car crash, but they were wrong. So when he heard about his funeral, he had to show up to set things straight and everyone got all freaked out and panicky. I thought that only happened in movies.

Saving Money & Losing Weight- so easy!

It dawned on me lately that I read a lot of crap. Among all the magazines, newspapers, websites, and even reputable books that I read, I seem to keep getting the same information. It goes something like this: If you want to change your life, start by skipping the morning latte.
Shape magazine told me I could lose a pound by Friday, which I was interested in. Now, I am assuming Shape magazine is read by people who already try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, like myself, so I thought I might be able to kick it up a notch by trying out some of their advice. I wasn't really expecting anything too revolutionary, but what I found was despicable. Included in the diet advice was of course "watch your beverages," and some crap about how that morning latte could add up to 300 calories- or more!! Then they had an activities advice column, which told me to "take the stairs instead of the elevator." Doing this for a half hour could burn 230 calories per day! Easy enough! All I have to do is cut out my latte, and take the stairs, which will burn an extra 3500+ calories in 5 days, which means I have lost a pound by Friday!!

Here's my problem: I already skip the morning latte. I don't like lattes. Sometimes I have a coffee, which I make at home. I also don't take any elevators. I don't have any stairs at all in my house or my workplace. Even if I did take an elevator at work, wouldn't my boss wonder where I was while I was climbing up and down the stairs for 30 minutes??

I feel like I read the same advice day after day after day, which leads me to wonder, who are these writers? If they can do it, can't I? I cut out MY morning lattes, so surely I'm an expert, right? Here's another one: Park farther away in the parking lot so you burn more calories walking an extra 50 feet. Thirty minues of this a day would add up 150 calories burned, and all you have to do is go to 570 different stores!!! How about I park close to the store, get in and out with what I need as quickly as possible, and then make it home in time to go for a 45 minute walk before it gets dark? I guess they're trying to tell me to multi-task to take advantage of every opportunity to burn some extra calories, but it woud be nice to hear something new or creative- how about lunging to my tables at work, and carrying some 10 lb dumbbells with my so I can do some bicep curls while taking customers orders?? I'm onto something here!!!

I've solved my fitness problems, but I still need to figure out my personal finances. I know I should be saving for a house and retirement and my children's educations, but it just seems so difficult to put money aside when I have to pay for rent, utilities, car expenses, food, credit cards, and student loans every month on a pretty minimal salary. So when I stumble upon an article offering some financial advice, I usually take a look. Why I do this, I don't know, because they all tell me the same exact thing:

Even people with low incomes can save, they just need to cut back expenses in other areas. This is easier than most people think. For example, skipping the morning lattes could save me $25 per week. If I put this into a savings account, that would be $1300 per year!

Holy crap! I, little old me, could save $1300 THAT EASILY? All I have to do is skip my morning lattes. I can do that. Oh wait, I already don't have my morning lattes. And if I did, I would probably have to pay for it with a credit card. So if I'm buying it with money that doesn't exist, what do I put in the savings account? Oh, that's right, nothing. Okay, but this might work for other people I know. I know people that go to starbucks every morning, so they could give it a try. But as it turns out, they've been buying those lattes on a credit card all year, which now has a balance of $7000!!! So, if they stop the morning lattes, they can apply $25/week to their credit card, and their savings account is left empty as well.

This stuff is the biggest crap ever. "Pay yourself first."

Landlord: This is only half of what you owe me this month.

Tenant: Sorry about that, I had to pay myself and that's all I had left.

If you're not a total idiot, the only way to improve your financial situation is to make more money. I already live on the bare minimum, and it's still not working out for me. I still can't save. Why? Because my job has cut me down to 15 hrs/week, and soon I will be unemployed. My unemployment check certainly will not be enough to put away savings, no matter how carefully I "budget." The only way I am ever going to improve things, is by getting a higher-paying job. I don't understand how these people are being paid to write personal finance articles. I could write any one of them! Why do they have jobs, and I don't??

While I'm ranting, I would like to say a little something about my job search. I know experience is important, but to what extent? It seems like employers are going to extremes with their experience requirements.

Job Title: Administrative Assistant

Duties: Copying, Filing, Faxing
-Arranging and scheduling meetings with staff and clients
-Greeting customers and answering phone inquiries
-Must be able to type 45 wpm
-Other general office duties

Requirements: Bachlor's Degree, Master's preferred
10+ years experience
Knowledge of Microsoft Office
Proven track record of success in an administrative role
Great customer service skills



WHAT? The sad part, is that they are not asking too much. They probably will find this person, because the job market is so bad. Why so much experience? Why are those ten years needed? Won't you just have to pay them more? You can pay me $6 less per hour and I'll still do a better job! I am an administrative expert! I have been handling all my personal administrative duties for years now! I talk on the phone, I book appointments (never overlapping), I carefully fill out paperwork, and I use excel to track my finances and fitness goals. I have been working in restaurants kissing peoples asses for the last ten years, so I certainly know about customer service. I am also always on time (on time = 15 minutes early!) for everthing, from work, to doctor's appointments, to movie showings! Clearly I can multitask if I can take 6 upper level college courses and work 25 hours per week at the same time. I can also wait on six tables at the same time. One needs another drink, two is ready to order, food is up for three, bread is in the toaster for four, five needs a drink order, and six needs their plates to be cleared, and it all gets done timely, with happy customers.

But all this means nothing since I havn't been working in a traditional office environment for the past ten years, but that's okay, why? Because I have no intentions of being an administative assistant for ten or more years. If I did, I would consider my college education a waste, and my career a failure.


Crazy world we live in!!

Nothing is Fair!

Which is to be expected, of course. I was recently reading an article on www.insidehighered.com about student loans, and if they should be considered for bankruptcy. Currently, they are not, unless you are blind and only have one limb. If they were, plenty of people would do it. I would probably just take out a crapload of loans and go get an MBA and a JD and another bachelor's degree just for the fun of it, all along knowing I would just declare bankruptcy at the end! I would probably get credit cards from every store that would allow me to have one and get a ton of clothes and nice furniture and stuff too. In other words, there is a serious negative incentive to allowing this. It should, however, be allowed under strict regulation and certain circumstances. And perhaps private loans shouldn't be given so willy-nilly? Maybe loan companies should have to interview students, and find out what their plan is for after college, before giving them tens of thousands of dollars. If they can't pass the interview or the underwriting, then they might choose to go to a cheaper school!

I'm getting off track. My purpose for writing here is in response to a comment that really angered me. IHE Reader posted a response to the article titled "can't call the repo man." IHE Reader presents a valid point, education is an asset that cannot be reclaimed. Maybe they could take away your diploma, and your educational records, but the knowledge and the experience will forever be yours, and you can still use it even after filing bankruptcy. This is unfair to the others who file bankruptcy based on other assets, because once their houses, cars, computers and boats are taken away, they can't use them anymore!!!

He or she goes on to say "Discharging student loans for those spendthrifts who stupidly get themselves into too much consumer debt shouldn't be an option."

WHAT? So shouldn't he be saying that bankruptcy shouldn't be an option for ANYONE? How is he saying it's okay for people to do it if they bought a yacht but not okay for someone who bought an education? The people with the houses and the boats are the stupid spendthrifts! An education is an investment that many people hope to get a return on, but unfortunatly, given the state of the economy and the unemployment rate, it is not working out for many people.

My other problem here is saying that an education can't be "repo-ed." This is correct, you can't just liquidate that college degree in order to make a settlement. This is a pretty stupid argument because you can't liquidate good times and fun memories either! Let's say instead of going to college I moved to Las Vegas and took out credit cards. I spent four years gambling, drinking, smoking, laying by the pool, eating expensive steaks, getting plastic surgery, going to the spa, etc. Then I grow up and realize dispite all the surgery, no one loves me enough to pay my rent or gas, and I am $50,000 in debt. What to do, what to do.. oh yea, declare bankruptcy!! None of these items can be "repo-ed" either, but for some reason this is forgivable but an education is not? Cool. Now I know there are laws about this kind of frivolous behavior and declaring bankruptcy as well, and I don't know exactly what they are, but I know there is a much better chance of being forgiven. I saw a show where a girl declared bankruptcy on $30,000 in credit cards. What was she buying? Clothes. And manicures. Did she have any assets to barter? Nope. Did she have fun shopping? Yes.

I'm all done. This is a sad world we live in.

Convenience is Difficult

Sometimes things are supposed to be made better, but really they are made worse. For example, the baby formula I use, Similac. Instead of using cans like every other brand, they use these super technilogical boxes that are supposed to make things easier because they have a groove for your hand (retarded and pointless) and they have a little holder in the lid for the scoop. Henry is almost 2 months old, and I have gone through quite a few of these boxes, and every time I open a new one, I cut my knuckles, and have to wear bandaids. And its not that I forget, in fact, I fear opening them every time, but there is no way around it. Then, I have to peel the foil off. There is a little tab in the corner, and every single time I pull it, it just pulls the tab off and then I have to injure my hands more trying to get the foil off. Then, when the formula is almost gone, there isn't enough to make a scoop, so I have to pour the remaining powder into the new box (with my bloody knuckles) but there is a stupid lip on the corner of this stupid mishaped box, and I can't get it all out. (Rip off!) So basically, the only good thing about this retarded container is the place to store the scoop in the lid, but believe me, it is not worth it. Not to mention, they could have done this with a regular can. This container is even endorsed by Ty Pennington, "design expert." Ty Pennington can shove it!!!!!!

Judging

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Theresa

Judging others is something we are born with an instinct to do. As babies and children, we cannot help ourselves. If someone is smelly or ugly, we dislike them, and let them know why. In elementary school, I can remember thinking that certain children were stupid because of the way they looked. In middle school, I recall thinking I was better than other kids if they were the same dirty clothes to school every day. And don't even get me started on high school. But as we get older, we slowly learn. In high school I would still judge people, but I would not say anything bad to the people I was judging, because I respected their feelings, and didn't want to get beat up.


Things became more real for me in college. I was working more, meeting more people, and living at a huge University. My instictual judging habits had not gone away, but I was starting to realize that I was often wrong about people. The ugly kid down the hall had a great sense of humor. The bottle-blonde gorgeous girl in my class was actually a devout Catholic and a virgin. My roommate, who refused to wear anything other than sweats and flip flops, was actually from a very wealthy family. I took a moment to reflect on all of this, and decided to try to stop judging people.

Not judging people makes life much more fun. You can make many more friends, hear very interesting stories, and meet people that care about your stories, too.

If you look around, you will see that judgement is all around us. In our families, in our communities, and on the news.

In our families:

A mother will get upset if her teenage daughter is hanging out with a goth-looking pierced up boy, and secretly wish her daughter would choose better boys, such as the All-American high school quarterback down the street. Little does she know, the goth boy is a straight-edge gentleman, and the jock is a binge drinker who pressures girls into sex.

In our communities:

The local quik-mart owner gets jitters every time a black man walks into his store. He is so busy watching the honest black man collecting items around the store that he needs for his family, that he is completely unaware of the elderly lady stuffing phone cards into her purse..

On the news:

Political activists and Church leaders are at war over gay rights, both judging each other over what is right vs. what is wrong. Would they ever take the time to get to know each other? The gays are fighting for love, and the Church is supposed to love, so why the war when they want the same thing?

By telling people what is right and what is wrong, what they should and shouldn't do, you are judging them. We are all guilty of it, and we are ALL wrong. There is only one person who should be judging anyone, and that is God. For those of us who have no God, the world should be free of judgement.

My resolution is to continue my path of judging people less and less, and hopefully as I get older and wiser, I will stop this nasty habit altogether. By forcing our values on others, we are judging them, and this needs to stop. Lets take Mother Theresa's advice, and simply love them.

Old Blog

Here is a link to my old blog:

http://ixheartxemily.livejournal.com/

I really like some of the entries in it and was going to copy and paste them here, but since most of them are three years old, it didn't seem right. I was definately living a MUCH different life back then..

Consumer Woes

As a result of my pregnancy, my life has become what others may describe as "dull." So here is my dull American consumer rant of the week:

I registered at Target for all of my baby items, and for the most part, this went well. Almost every item was purchased, and Target gained hundreds of dollars in revenue thanks to me. And now, I hate them.

My loving brother sent me the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet which I was very excited about because Henry is going to get to sleep in it right away right next to me. Unlike other items (such as the high chair which I will probably not use until June), I was eager to set it up. Good thing I did because upon opening it, I realized one of the wheels was broken beyond my repair. I called Target Guest Relations and asked them what to do, noting that there was a sense of urgency with this item as I do not know when Henry will arrive. The man I spoke to told me to return the item to the store, get a gift card for the amount of the item, and order it again. (Apparently they don't DO exchanges.) So, I hauled my pregnant ass all the way to East Wareham, did some heavy lifting to get this bassinet from the parking lot to the store (not recommended late in pregnancy) and got my gift card for $146.99. They could not refund my shipping in the store, however, so I called guest relations again who told me a $20.11 credit would be applied to my account online to cover the cost of shipping the new bassinet.

Later that evening, snuggled under the duvet with laptop at hand, I went to reorder my baby's bassinet. I was having difficulty when checking out because I could not find the $20.11 credit on my account. So, I called guest relations again where I was greeted by a girl named Alicia. Alicia could not find this so called credit, but offered to help me place the order over the phone so she could personally ensure the free shipping. All phone or online orders need to have a credit card number even if you are paying with a gift card, as a security measure if for some reason there is not enough credit on the gift card to cover the item, tax, and shipping, so I obliged and gave her my Visa information. Then I try giving her the gift card number and she cannot find it.. This is where my nightmare begins. After 63 minutes on the phone with this dingbat, she tells me that the gift card will go through after I place the order, because she cannot find it yet (whatever this means..)

I check on the order the next day, and realized the gift card has not been charged, but I did get free shipping. I then check my Visa card online, and sure enough, it was charged $146.99. Needless to say, I was furious. I talked to Alicia for 63 minutes, who ensured me I would not have to pay a dime for this item, since it was intended as a gift, and she still fucked up. So I called guest relations again to try to get someone to reverse this problem, refund my credit card, and apply the gift card to the order. I didn't think this would be hard, after all, I have worked in retail, and things like this are usually pretty simple. Boy was I wrong. This time I was greeted by a man named Sanchez. I explained my problem to him. He told me that I could not recieve a refund because my credit card had already been charged, so I should just pay for it and use the gift card for something else I need. WHAT?! At this point I am so frustrated that I don't want Target to get any more of my money. I told him this was nonsense and asked to speak to his superviser. I never spoke to his superviser, but Sanchez did and came up with a solution. He said I could refuse the item, and would get a refund to my credit card within 7-10 business days afterwards. But this would be around December 12, and Henry is due December 21, and sometimes babies come early, so I could not wait this long. His next suggestion was to order the item again with the gift card so I could get it sooner, and bring the other one to the store for a refund when I recieved it. I agreed and placed another order for the same item this time using the gift card, and was told that the shipping would be free.

What a headache I was having at this point, but hope seemed to be on the horizon. I didn't want to have to drive back to the store, but figured I would want to anyways within the next few weeks. I tried to calm myself down.

Today, I look at my bank account and notice my credit card has been charged for the shipping on my second order. So, I called guest relations for the fourth day in a row in a vain attempt to solve the matter. This time I talked to Shannon, who told me that Sanchez did not apply the free shipping promotion to my account until after the order had been placed, which is why my credit card was charged, and that I should just use the promotion on my next order. WHY DO THESE PEOPLE THINK I WANT TO KEEP BUYING THINGS ONLINE AT TARGET?!! I told her I would not be placing another order, and would like her to refund my credit card the cost of the shipping. She told me this could not be done because my credit card had not yet been charged, it just had a hold placed on it.

Wait. So Sanchez told me I couldn't get a refund because my credit card had already been charged, and Shannon told me that I couldn't get a refund because my credit card had not yet been charged?!!? How does this make sense? What other options are there? Either it has been charged, or it hasn't, and apparently you can't get a refund either way, so they just make up excuses. I asked to speak to a superviser.

Now I'm on the phone with Tamara, and after at least 30 minutes of going through this whole story, she has promised me that she will place an advanced refund on the item as soon as I give it back to UPS, and that when I recieve the item bought with the gift card, she will also make sure I recieve my refund on the shipping. She told me she put a note on my account for this to be done but where that note goes no one knows... it goes with the lost shipping promotions from the guy on the phone and the lost gift cards from Alicia...

I now will be recieving my second and third bassinets in a few weeks. Too bad I'm not having triplets! I have a funny feeling this nightmare will not end for a long time, and when it does, I will have spent enough on gas, my cell phone bill, finance charges on my credit card, and therapy that it will not even be worth it. I should have just placed a book under the broken wheel to make it level, and called it a day. I'm sure Henry wouldn't have even noticed...